Hikikomori

edited December 2007 in In-Game
I'm going to use this thread to play a game of Ewen Cluney's "Hikikomori", a solo rpg.

It's possible that by posting the game online, I'm defeating the whole purpose. Anyhow, that's the way I'm doing it. A brief introduction: "Hikikomori" is a Japanese word used to describe people, often young men, who stay in their rooms for very long periods of time - months, if not years. The game is about playing such a character. Appropriately, it's a game for one player.

This thread is going to alternate with me posting the mechanical bits of gameplay, and then the diary entry that I've written to accompany those mechanics. The game text as written is a little confusing in places (it's a 24 hour rpg, so no wonder), so I'm also going to post my rules interpretations as they come up.

I can't decide if I want to start an audience thread for this. On the one hand, it would be cool to get feedback. On the other hand, I think the solitude kind of helps the process.

Anyway, I'm going to try to do one entry a day, for a week, like the game suggests. I may slack off though, depending on work.

Comments

  • Tamura Yoshinori

    Hope: 3d10 (This is the core trait of this game, and decides the character's final fate. It starts at 3d10.)

    Traits:
    Imaginary Friend: 3d10
    Gabu-Gabu the crow. Sits on the balcony outside. Has his own problems. (I picked this trait for myself)
    Obsessive Hobby: 3d10
    Reading Manga. (I rolled this trait randomly)
    Real Friend: 3d10
    "Micky" the yakuza wannabe, who hangs out in the stairwell of Tamura's building, listening to his walkman, and talking about all his girlfriends, who may not exist. (This is the second randomly-picked trait. I kind of made this stuff up on the spot, and I'm not sure how much will come into play.)

    Day One: Wednesday

    First I have to roll for each of my traits, to see which ones act on me. The three highest are the ones that act, and I only have three, so there's no competition. I'm going to use their rolls to determine the order in which to handle them though.

    Real Friend: 22
    Mickey wanted help with something, and Tamura helped him. (According to the Friend vs. Hope roll)
    The result of this is: Friend +1 die, Hope +1 die. I'm not sure if I apply these bonuses to further rolls today, but I'm going to assume they come into effect tomorrow.

    Obsessive Hobby: 18
    Read some Manga, lost one action. Normally I'd have three of my own actions to perform, but now I only have two.

    Imaginary Friend: 13
    Gabu-Gabu talked some shit. Seems to be depressed. It took me a while to figure out how this worked, but I'm onto it now.
    Gabu-Gabu's demeanour is reduced by one, to 6.

    Tamura's Actions:
    Tried to go outside. Failed. This was a Hope roll, which failed pretty badly.
    Talked to Mickey about Manga. He thought it was dumb. This was a roll of Friend vs. Hobby, I think. Friend won, and Hobby dropped a die.
  • edited December 2007
    Diary Entry:

    When I woke up, someone was knocking on my door. I was surprised, because really, no one knows me in town, and I hadn't ordered anything. I'm ashamed to say I was in my underwear when I answered the door. I don't want you to think that I'm crazy or anything, but I was in a hurry. I tried to hide my body behind the door when I opened it, so that whoever it was wouldn't see. I only opened the door a tiny bit.

    The boy on the other side was Mickey, the guy who hangs out in the stairwell. He spends all day there listening to music on his walkman, and talking to kids who come to see him. I think he's a drug dealer or something, except this apartment building probably wouldn't have anyone as glamorous as a drug dealer. He probably sells DVDs or something. Mickey's hair was all spiked out with hairspray, and bleached orange. He looked really cool except for his teeth, which were really bad, and he had lots of pimples.

    Mickey put his face right up to the gap in the door and started talking to me really fast.

    "Hey man I need a favour. It's real important"

    I don't really know Mickey that well, except for seeing him in the stairwell sometimes when I go out. I guess he knows that I don't go out much, and he thought I'd be home.

    "My kid brother is here, but my girlfriend is coming over. Can you watch him for me, just for like, an hour?"

    I really didn't want Mickey's little brother in my apartment. Nothing against him, since I've never met him, but I've got a lot of my own stuff in there, and I don't like it when people look at all my stuff. Little kids are always picking things up, or breaking them. But Mickey is one of those people who's really hard to say no to. He always acts like you're a really great guy, so you want to help him. Even though I didn't really know him at all, I didn't want to disappoint him. I said "Sure, man" and left the door open.

    I really don't know how Mickey gets girlfriends. He's not good-looking because of his teeth and pimples, and he doesn't have a good personality either. I can tell from looking at him that he doesn't have a good personality.

    Mickey's little brother came over a bit later. I had some clothes on then, because I'm not a total freak. He seemed like an okay kid. I gave him one of my old comics. He sat down on the floor and read it. I felt really bad for him because he didn't have a good older brother who'd look after him and teach him to play baseball, and instead he had Mickey, who sent him to his neighbor so that he could have sex with his girlfriend. Because Mickey's little brother was reading some comics, I decided to as well. I didn't have anything new that day, because I hadn't been to the shop, so I read old comics.

    Mickey didn't come back for his little brother for a long time, so after a while I felt bad and made some food. I heated up some noodles, and gave some to the kid. He didn't say anything, but I think he was hungry because he ate them really fast. When he was finished, he said "Thank you" and put his bowl in the sink, so I guess his family isn't all bad. While I was cleaning the bowls, I noticed that Gabu-Gabu was on the windowsill again. He wasn't in the mood for talking though. He just said "Hi" and then looked the other way. I think he's got his own problems.

    I should probably explain about Gabu-Gabu. He's the crow that lives around my building, and sometimes sits on my windowsill. You probably think it's a bit weird that a crow talks to me, but he really does. His name is Gabu-Gabu, and he's a talking crow. I don't know if he's the only talking crow, but if he is, he doesn't have a big head about it. Mostly he just seems to look for food, and complain about the other crows. I don't think he's very smart, but he's kind of good to listen to sometimes. He doesn't pretend to be smarter than he is. I think he might be an old crow. His voice isn't like a crow at all. He sounds just like a person, kind of serious and slow.

    Later on, after Mickey's little brother went home, I tried to go out to buy some ramen. There's a ramen shop on the corner which is really small, and the owner doesn't talk to anyone so it's not such a bad place. Eating the noodles put me in the mood for ramen, so I really wanted to go. I stood at the bottom of the stairs thinking about it for a long time, but then I decided to stay at home instead. On my way back up the stairs, I passed Mickey, who was smoking a cigarette. I felt like maybe he'd want to talk to me about his brother or something, so I asked him if he wanted to borrow some comics. I've got a good collection. Probably one of the best collections of anyone in town. I told Mickey he could choose anything he wanted to borrow, but he just said "Nah, I'm not into that geek stuff". I felt a bit bad after that, so I went up to bed, and tried to get to sleep before my Father came home.
  • Day Two: Thursday

    Hope: 4d10
    Traits:
    Imaginary Friend: 3d10
    Demeanor: 5
    Obsessive Hobby: 2d10
    Real Friend: 4d10

    Real Friend: 23
    Made Mickey's life better.
    Hope +1, Friend +1.
    Obsessive Hobby: 17
    Rolls an 8, nothing happens.
    Imaginary Friend: 9
    Gabu-Gabu is depressing.

    Tamura's Actions:
    Placate Imaginary Friend:
    Rolled a 4. Gabu-Gabu ignores me.
    Do Nothing:
    Rolled a 1. Gained a new imaginary friend, with demeanor of 3 (angry)
    Use Obsessive Hobby for Good:
    Gave some old comics to Mickey's little brother
  • I can't believe the doorbell woke me up again. It's really annoying. My Dad always says it's important to get enough sleep, but I can't do that with people waking me up all the time. I put on some clothes this time when I answered the door, because I don't want people to think I'm a total freak. It wasn't Mickey this time though, it was a police officer. I don't have to tell you I was pretty upset by a police officer coming to the house. I'm not the kind of guy who gets in trouble with the police. The police officer was kind of fat, and his helmet was too small for him. It sat up on top of his head and looked a bit silly. He wanted to know if I'd seen anything funny going on in this building. I'm pretty sure he wanted to know about Mickey, because at one point he asked if I ever bought any cheap CDs. I didn't want any trouble, but I felt bad for Mickey and his little brother, so I said I didn't know anything. I told the police officer that nothing like that happens in this building. I think he believed me, because then he asked me why I wasn't at school. I told him I was sick today.

    When I went back inside, I read comics for a while, but I wasn't really into it. Sometimes, even though I love comics, I don't really feel like reading them. I was pretty happy when I saw that Gabu-Gabu was sitting on the windowsill. I like talking to him, even when he doesn't say much. I guess it kind of makes me feel good that he talks to me, since I don't think crows usually talk to people. Maybe he knows that I won't tell anyone about it. I think he wants me to keep it a secret, even though he doesn't ask. Gabu-Gabu was really depressed today though. He said it was really hard to find food now that it's snowing so much. He doesn't like the snow, even though he stays pretty warm with his feathers. I think he's worried about the other crows picking on him. They can be really cruel when there's not heaps of food to go around. Maybe they don't like him because he's a talking crow. I asked him about that, but he just looked away. He doesn't like talking about it.

    I felt really bad for Gabu-Gabu, since he's a pretty nice crow. I wanted to give him some corn, since I heard crows like that. We didn't have any though, so I put some old rice out there. I thought that would be just as good. I guess he doesn't like it though, because he left it there for a long time. Maybe he feels embarrassed about accepting charity.

    While I was waiting for Gabu-Gabu to come back and eat the rice, I just kind of sat around, looking out the window. It was one of those days where it just snows a little bit, even though it's kind of sunny. It was sort of pretty how the snowflakes looked in the sun. I think I probably sat there for a few hours, until this pigeon came and sat on the windowsill, and started eating the rice. I thought about chasing it away, since the rice was for Gabu-Gabu, but I was pretty sure he wasn't going to eat it. So this pigeon ate heaps of the rice, just sitting there on the windowsill. It was kind of annoying, but I didn't say anything. When he was finished, it looked up and said "I hate you", and flew away.

    I don't have to tell you I was pretty surprised. I don't know much about talking birds, but I think they probably don't usually say things like that, especially after eating someone's rice. I'm going to ask Gabu-Gabu about it next time I see him. I'm kind of worried about this pigeon. Maybe it's going to do something bad. I'll look out for it.

    I was kind of shaken up by the pigeon, so I wanted to do something to make myself feel good. I have a lot of old comics around which I never read anymore, and they're kind of kid stuff anyway. I was still thinking about Mickey's little brother, and his crappy life, so I put a lot of the old comics into a box. It was pretty heavy by the time I finished, but I picked it up and carried it out the door. Mickey was back in the stairwell, so I took the box over to him and put it down. I told him he could give the comics to his little brother if he wanted to. He seemed pretty happy about the comics. He told me he heard about me talking to the police officer too, and he said I was a real "good guy" for not saying anything about him.

    I guess that made me feel pretty good. Even though I don't like Mickey, I like him saying things like that about me. He even gave me a CD of music, with a photocopied cover. He said it was a really popular band from Tokyo. I don't really like music, but I said "thank you" anyway. I might listen to it later.
  • Day Three: Friday

    Hope: 5d10
    Traits:
    Imaginary Friend (Gabu-Gabu): 3d10
    Demeanor: 5
    Imaginary Friend (Evil Pigeon): 3d10
    Demeanor: 3
    Obsessive Hobby: 3d10
    Real Friend: 5d10

    Tamura's doing pretty well at this point, with 5d10 hope. I hope that evil pigeon doesn't mess it all up.

    Pigeon: 23
    Hmm, a sentence got cut off here in the rules. Apparently it makes "gruesome threats that..." We'll see what comes of it.
    Hobby: 23
    Ooh, wasted a lot of time reading today. Lost two actions. +1 die to the hobby, too. This could be a problem.
    Friend: 22
    Oh no! Mickey's "outgrown" me. I guess he's moving up in life.
    Gabu-Gabu: 18
    Got scared off by the pigeon, I guess.

    Tamura's Actions:
    Gotta get rid of that pigeon.
    My roll (Hope): 16
    Its roll: 13
    Ok, so I didn't beat it by enough. I guess it's hanging around some more.
  • Diary Entry:

    It was nice to sleep in today, and I probably lay in bed for three hours awake, just thinking about things. When I finally got up, it was because I was getting really hungry. I was making myself some breakfast with some leftover rice from last night, and then I heard a scratching sound from the windowsill. The sound was like this really high pitched screech. I looked over there, and the pigeon was scratching at the window with one of its claws, dragging them on the glass really slowly. I don't think it wanted to get in, it just wanted to freak me out. It was looking right at my face while it did it. I made eye contact with it, and as soon as I did, it said "I will kill you", and flew away.

    It was pretty shocking, especially right then in the morning. I was pretty shaken up, and I had to sit down. I decided then that I'd have to do something about the pigeon. You can't just let a bird say things like that. Even though it sounded like a pretty dangerous pigeon, like a bird that would do anything, I thought I could probably handle it if I thought about it.

    Just then a package came through the mail slot. When I opened it, it turned out to be the new Shonen Jump, which I get delivered to my house. Shonen Jump isn't my favorite magazine, because everyone reads it and the comics are kind of boring, but there are lots of them and I can usually spend a long time reading them. Because I was still kind of scared of the pigeon, I took the comic and my breakfast back to bed, and I read the comic for a long time. When I'm reading comics I usually get really caught up in them, so I don't think about anything else. Sometimes I don't even notice that I'm turning the pages, or what I'm doing. I just think about the comic completely, and not about anything else. It's a good feeling because usually I'm thinking about a lot of things, and worrying about my dad or Gabu-Gabu or something. So I like comics for that reason. I guess I kind of lost track of time, because it was already pretty late when I finished the comic. There were some people talking outside, so I looked out the window.

    There was this really amazing car out there, with these really cool wheels that spun around, and tinted windows. Mickey was out there talking to this older man, who I think I've seen a couple of times before. He looked a bit like Mickey so I think it was his dad or maybe his older brother. Mickey seemed really happy to see him, and they got in the car together.

    I remembered about the pigeon then, and I decided to try to get rid of it. I knew that it was a pretty bad pigeon, so I didn't feel bad about hurting it. I went into the cupboard and got some of the rat poison that my dad bought last year when there was a rat living in the wall. The poison came in these little brown pellets, but I thought the pigeon was probably smart enough not to eat them. I knew the pigeon liked rice, so I got some more of the leftover rice, and put it in a bowl. Then I crushed some of the pellets and put them in there with some water. I let it soak for a while. The rice looked kind of nasty after that, with little brown flecks and this gross looking foam on it. I tipped out the water, and then I opened the window and put the rice out there. I was really careful to wash everything afterwards, because I know that rat poison is really dangerous. I thought maybe the pigeon would get suspicious if I waited and watched it, so I went back to bed.

    A while later, maybe three or four hours, I went out to the kitchen again. The bowl was still on the windowsill, but I could see that a lot of the rice had been eaten. When I looked out the window though, it wasn't the pigeon that ate it. There was a dead crow lying in the snow outside the window. I was pretty sure it wasn't Gabu-Gabu, but I still felt pretty bad. Most people don't like crows, but I think they're just trying to get by like everyone else. It's not their fault that they can eat rubbish, or that they're black and noisy. So I felt pretty bad about killing this crow. I hoped it wasn't Gabu-Gabu's friend or anything.

    On the roof of the building next to mine, I could see the pigeon sitting there, looking at me. It didn't say anything, but I could tell it was blaming me for the dead crow. Even though I wanted to, I decided not to go outside and bury the dead crow, while the pigeon was there. I threw away the rest of the rice, and washed the bowl.
  • Day Four: Saturday


    Hope: 5d10
    Traits:
    Imaginary Friend (Gabu-Gabu): 3d10
    Demeanor: 5
    Imaginary Friend (Evil Pigeon): 3d10
    Demeanor: 3
    Obsessive Hobby: 4d10

    Ok, the rolls for the traits are:
    Hobby: 23
    Rolled a 12, thankfully. Only lose one action to it.
    Gabu-Gabu: 22
    Says something depressing
    Evil Pigeon: 19
    Makes more threats.

    And Tamura's actions:
    Try to resist hobby:
    Hobby Rolls 27, Hope rolls 21. Looks like he decides to stick with it.
    Placate the Evil Pigeon:
    Rolled a one. Oh shit.
    Dice goes up by one, demeanor drops to one. That thing really wants him dead.
  • Diary Entry:

    Well, I guess I spent a lot of today reading comics again. I didn't really want to go out of my room in case the pigeon was out there, so I stayed in bed. I found a lot of old comics that I haven't read for a long time, so I looked at them again. I tried to find out anything I could about talking birds, but there doesn't seem to be a lot of talking birds in the comics I have. There are lots of other talking animals. I think sometimes they're ghosts or devils in disguise, so I'll have to be careful about that. Gabu-Gabu doesn't seem like a ghost or a devil though. I thought about that for a long time. It seemed kind of weird that a ghost would complain so much about regular stuff, so I thought Gabu-Gabu probably wasn't a ghost. It's just like a ghost to say stuff like that pigeon though. I'm going to have to find out more.

    I was thinking about that when I went out into the kitchen to get some food. I was pretty surprised when I saw Gabu-Gabu on the windowsill, since I thought he wouldn't come around while that pigeon was there. When I saw him I felt really bad again about the crow from yesterday. It snowed a lot in the night, so I don't think Gabu-Gabu saw it, but I think he knew anyway. He kind of puffed up his feathers when he saw me, but he didn't say anything. I really wanted to know about the pigeon, so even though he doesn't like talking about that kind of thing, I asked Gabu-Gabu why the pigeon wanted me dead.

    He just said "pigeons are like that", which wasn't very helpful, although I suppose it means it's not a ghost. It's kind of bad though because even though I don't really know anything about ghosts, at least then I'd know why it was acting so crazy. I wanted to ask some more questions, but it seemed like Gabu-Gabu had a lot on his mind. He kept on fluffing his feathers and making little crow noises, which he doesn't normally do. Finally he said "excuse me" and jumped off the windowsill.

    I found out pretty soon why he went away, because the pigeon showed up just after that. I kind of freaked out a bit, and instead of just going into my room, I sat there and watched. The pigeon walked up and down the windowsill for ages, looking in at me. From time to time it would stop and peck at the glass a few times. I could tell it wanted to come inside. It's beak wasn't strong enough to break the glass, so it just tapped on it, really slowly. It still shook me up a lot, I can tell you. I'm ashamed to say I ran into my room and listened to it tapping on the glass for a long time until it went away. I still didn't go out again for a long time.

    I realized I hadn't seen Mickey at all since he got into that car yesterday. He's usually in the stairway every day, but when I looked out the door when a parcel came for my dad, I didn't see him. I guess he's gone into the city to get a job with his dad or something. It made me feel really bad that a loser like Mickey could go out and get a job like that, and drive around in a great car. I thought about it for a long time in my room, and decided that I shouldn't read so many comics. Sometimes I think that I spend too much time reading them, instead of thinking about real stuff. Maybe that's why I don't have a great car like Mickey's dad.

    I was going to get rid of some of my comics, so I sat down to put them in a box. That's when I heard the pecking at the window again. It really freaked me out. But it also gave me an idea. I thought that maybe the pigeon was angry at me because it thought I hated it first. There's a comic where these two guys are enemies for years because they both think the other one hates him for no reason. I thought maybe it was like that with the pigeon.

    When I went into the kitchen, the pigeon was still walking back and forth and pecking, but he stopped when I came in. I looked at him, and I put up my hands and said "hey, let's just be friends, ok?" The pigeon didn't say anything, but he kind of tilted his head in a friendly way. I walked slowly across the room with my hands out in front of me, to show him I wasn't going to try anything. "I'm going to open the window" I said. The pigeon just looked at me, so I slid the window open. The pigeon sat there looking at me for a second, and I said "hi".

    Then the pigeon just went crazy. It flew up into my face, and I could taste its feathers in my mouth. They tasted like dust, and dirt from the street, and the pigeon smelled like pigeon shit. I put up my hands to beat it away, but it was already gone. I heard it say "you're going to die now". I shut the window pretty fast, but I think it was too late. I'm sure the pigeon is somewhere in the house now, even though I can't see it. That pigeon's really got it in for me.

    I hid in my room for a long time after that. I'm not going out until it's gone.
  • Day Five: Sunday

    Hope: 5d10
    Traits:
    Imaginary Friend (Gabu-Gabu): 3d10
    Demeanor: 5
    Imaginary Friend (Evil Pigeon): 3d10
    Demeanor: 1
    Obsessive Hobby: 4d10

    Trait Rolls:

    Hobby: 33
    34: Lose two actions reading comics.
    Pigeon: 18
    It tries to get him to kill himself!
    It rolls: 25, Hope rolls: 29. Near Miss!
    Gabu-Gabu: 14
    Still trying to get me down.

    My Action:
    Resist the Hobby:
    Hobby goes down by one die.
  • Diary Entry:

    I guess I don't have much to say about today. I mostly read comics in bed. I didn't want to go out of my room, because of the pigeon. There weren't any new comics today, so I read old ones again. Actually it was kind of a boring way to spend a day, and sometimes I thought about getting up and making some food, but I didn't. I just read some more comics. I got pretty hungry, and I almost went into the kitchen, but then I heard the pigeon out there and I decided to go back to bed. I don't know why my dad didn't get rid of the pigeon when he came home. I guess he was pretty tired. He works late and he's usually pretty tired when he gets home. Maybe he'd been to a drinking party with his boss. He does that sometimes in the weekend, and then he's usually really tired. I think he was home for a while today, but I didn't talk to him. I just read some more comics. I looked out the window for a while, and I could see Gabu-Gabu over on someone else's windowsill. I felt a bit jealous about that, since he usually sits on mine, but I don't blame him if he's afraid of the pigeon. I am too. So I was pretty surprised when I realised that I spent the whole day reading comics. I really love comics, but even for me that's a long time. I think tomorrow I'm going to have to face the pigeon, and not read so many comics. I wrote a note for myself and put it on my wall. It says "face the pigeon, don't read so many comics".
  • Day Six: Monday

    Hope: 5d10
    Traits:
    Imaginary Friend (Gabu-Gabu): 3d10
    Demeanor: 5
    Imaginary Friend (Evil Pigeon): 3d10
    Demeanor: 1
    Obsessive Hobby: 3d10

    Trait Rolls:

    Pigeon: 26
    Tries to get me to kill myself again.
    Hope: 37 Pigeon: 20. No chance.
    Hobby: 24
    Rolls 19: Lose two actions again. Shit!
    Gabu-Gabu: 15
    Tries to get me down.

    My Action:
    Do Nothing:
    Rolled a one. Gained Suicidal Thoughts.
  • Diary Entry:

    Well, my note didn't work. When I woke up the pigeon was sitting on the end of my bed. As soon as I opened my eyes, it said "you will die tomorrow" and flew out of my door. I can't believe my door was open. I guess my dad opened it in the night, but I don't know why he'd do that. I don't have to tell you that I was really shaken up. I decided that I wouldn't get out of bed, and I'd read comics instead. It was all I could do to get up and shut my door. I read for a really long time, and I'm ashamed to say that instead of going to the bathroom, I just peed into a bottle. I got really thirsty, but there was an old can of cola that I could drink. Later in the day I started feeling really weird. I guess because I hadn't eaten for a while.

    I couldn't really focus my eyes on the comics very well, but I kept turning the pages. I was really scared of the pigeon, and what it said, and it was easier not to think about it when I was reading comics. Even though I said yesterday that I wasn't going to read comics so much today, I think that it's ok. It doesn't sound so brave being afraid of a pigeon, but I think if it happened to you you'd be pretty scared too. I'm just a kid, and I'm not used to talking birds, except for Gabu-Gabu, and he's pretty kind for a bird.

    I tried talking to Gabu-Gabu later on, when I got really scared. I thought it would make me feel good to hear his voice. I opened my window just a little bit, and called out. I don't think he heard me though. Some people on the street looked up at me then, so I stopped. I guess they must have thought I was pretty crazy.

    After that I just lay on my back and looked at the ceiling for a long time. I though about what the pigeon said to me, and I thought about whether I was going to die tomorrow. I don't see why the pigeon would lie about something like that. I'm going to have to go and get something to drink tomorrow, because I'm really thirsty. Maybe the pigeon will try something them. I could try jumping out my window, but it's pretty high. I'd probably die. It sounds bad to say it, but sometimes I think that it would be better than letting that pigeon get me.
Sign In or Register to comment.