[MH-OOC Thread]Anyone interested in messy teenage monster drama?

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  • edited July 2012
    both are from the forums. But I might ask Joe again to see if anything's changed.

    http://apocalypse-world.com/forums/index.php?board=26.80
  • Here's a thing in this thread about conditions.
  • edited July 2012
    So I can't really inflict them without spending strings either.

    To be clear, All conditions come from being imposed by a move, or spending a string, including the MC's
  • edited July 2012
    So, Teddy and Nula aren't real actual lovers yet, but you will be? Or did you get together over the summer?
  • I'm fine with either...Teddy seeing Nula on the first day or while registering. Whichever you prefer! I'm not sure if Nula's even noticed Teddy yet. We'll see what happens. :)
  • I'm quite worried about Holly being boring. If she seems that way, please do tell me.
  • Been working on Holly's post on and off all morning.
  • [Holly]

    "Yeah...."

    ...end of post...

    (Ok, that's kind of an inside joke.)
  • Something like that, Scott.
  • Wow, Rich.
  • I'm trying really hard to get a sense of her home life. Sorry for the wall of text.
  • So, other than Wow, any feedback or critiques on my Holly post? Michael, I'm sure you've got some critiques. I'm open to them.

    For me, I think I should have had the brothers openly snicker or ask Holly about her new underwear rather than leave them as background noise or chatter. They did it to torture her, it should be front and center.

    I also need to work on the overuse of "then" and maybe come up with new ways ot structure my sentences. In long posts, I'm not so hot as a writer.

    That said, I'm open to ways to do better. It was a very useful effort for me, I now know she talks to the dolls (because who knows, one day they might become real people, too?) and I know what her room looks like, her morning routine, how cut off she is. So, I'm generally happy, but I think expressing the same info could be done more effectively. Alright, I'm done talking about talking about it.
  • Well, I just found time to actually read that, Rich. It's good, get a real sense of her character, her innocence and hopefulness. She's going to be hurt often, I fear.

    The writing style is good, I don't know why you might think not. The little details are nice. Yeah, it wasn't obvious that her siblings did that to her panties, but it's clear enough to figure it out.

    Seems like at least Holly and Nyx are building in serious problems with family, that should be important to those of us who take the time to detail it (hint hint MC)
  • edited July 2012
    OK, I think I'll edit in something from her brothers. Thanks for the feedback, Scott.

    EDIT: OK, feel better now.
  • booo, dead Friday. Boo.
  • Who's Friday and who killed him?
  • edited July 2012
    Sorry, I've been busy. I'll get something up in a bit. I'm one of those people who actually have to produce something when they work. :)
  • edited July 2012
  • I've bolded (or colored) dialog on other games/characters, makes it easier to scan the thread quickly for what characters say. Just a style choice.
  • I'm honestly just carrying over from copying other people in our AW game. :)

    But I do like bolded dialogue. It's nice to be able to easily pick it out.
  • ha ha, Trevis, yes, do your productive work while I waste away with no MH fun.
    Posted By: octoscottI've bolded (or colored) dialog on other games/characters, makes it easier to scan the thread quickly for what characters say. Just a style choice.
    I copied Scott.

    So Michael, Holly talks weird? Hunh, maybe her voice in my head makes her seem not weird, just... young. Simple. Straight-forward. That's interesting.

    As for 3rd person, I'm actually writing 1st person in a couple games on another PBF and it's wicked fun. But I don't know how I could achieve what you're describing, Michael. Can you give me some text example of 1st person in the fashion you mentioned?
  • edited July 2012
  • Oooh, Nyx's family seems really... awful.
  • edited July 2012
    I don't know if they are. But I'm thinking that Dad is pretty socially conservative and, well, Alvin's just gotten so weird all of the sudden.

    I can't decide if he looks more like Dan Lauria or Paul Sorvino.

    I have to go play a live game, which kinda sucks because I wast to make more posts for you all, but I can't desert my mates. I'll put up some more posts late tonight.

    Rich, Holly kind of blew all the way through the morning, already on her way to school. I was thinking Teddy and her friend might see her as they drove, but you might have to wait a sec.
  • Yes they are awful... .at least you have dolly friends Holly. :)
  • Sorry, Trevis. I guess I took it a little far.
  • hey, MC, want me to pare back? I'm totally cool with that. Tell me where to cut the story short and I'll cut.
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