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[MH] Midnight Delivery [Nu 2.8]
"I know... me too. Sorry I called so late, but thanks, I feel a little better knowing things are going to be okay between us." She does sound slightly happier.
"And don't worry about the race. You were awesome. You're amazing in the water Nula. It's like you're a mermaid! And Jen
kind of asking for it. I mean I hope she'll be okay, but you know what I mean. It'll be okay... Really. I just know it, okay?"
"Thank you, Amy." I say softly. It's nice to hear her tell me everything will be ok. I can almost believe it when she says it. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"
After I hang up the phone, I sit silently in the chair for a few long seconds. Then I'll start tip-toeing back to my room.
Before the tiptoeing sounds introspective. Are you gazing into the abyss?
Yes I am!
#DiceRoller( 2d6+2 )
highlighted for 1xp
What's on your mind the most in those moments? Any particular questions you're struggling with? And what choice are you making on the gaze? think your little bit of rest and Mar showing up cured you of drained, but you can take it again.
I'm thinking about Mar. And Jarrod. And Amy. My relationships with all of them were so straightforward and simple, but tonight has mixed them all up. I don't know what to do with any of them.
I'll take clear and lucid and take
So the ocean whispers in your ears.
You see Mar going about his life among the Selkies with his usual good nature. But it's tinged with a hint of sadness. You see him with a troubled expression, contemplating a keepsake you gave him. What's the story there? Then he's looking off as if trying to see where you are. It seems obvious he doesn't understand why you've gone away.
You also see him interacting with another Selkie you know, a female, Kiya. How do you get along with her? They swim together, talk, laugh a little. It's clear from the way she regards him that she's interested. And he's not entirely uninterested in her.
Still, he came when you called, right? Best friend, matched partner and all that.
When you think on Amy you see her, like she's headed for a pit, a whirlpool of darkness that's going to suck her under. She's more brokenhearted than she's letting on about Jarrod, right? Keeping it in the realm of fantasy was a defense, but she's been faced with the reality of being passed over and it's causing all the insecurities she has, about her body and everything else, to really overwhelm her.
Jarrod is completely entranced, and interested in pursuing a relationship with you. To him, you're literally the girl of his dreams, like he knows your face from somewhere.
The whispering ends and you're in the small darkened hallway next to the phone. You manage to tip-toe back to your bedroom, closing the door quietly behind you. Mar's up on one side of the room, looking curiously at some things you have laying out on the dresser. What is it that seems to have captured his attention?
He looks up and smiles when you enter. "What was that about?" He asks quietly.
"Just a telephone call from a girl I know." I answer quietly. I shut the door, turn the lock, and then lean on it, looking at him. Of all the things the ocean just shared, seeing him with Kiya has rattled me the most. Kiya is probably my closest friend after Mar. She knows how I feel about Mar. She's matched to another. What is she doing pursuing Mar? Why would she do that to me?
Isn't that exactly what I'm doing to Amy with Jarrod?
I attempt to shake that little voice off, but it persists.
I try to tell myself.
It's not the same. She's just a human...
But that excuse doesn't seem to hold as much weight as it used to. How is being "just a human" different from being a Selkie, really?
I walk over to the dresser and stand next to him, looking at the trinkets displayed there. There is an assortment of pretty shells, makeup, a couple magazines that Amy lent me, but the object in Mar's hand is a small framed photo of my grandmother. It's the one Dominic gave me the first day of school. One where we look eerily similar.
"Mar..." I whisper miserably without looking at him. "...are you...you and Kiya..."
I trail off without finishing my question, but the direction is pretty clear. I don't know what to ask him. Have they been together? Is this just a fling? Are they thinking about asking the council to reconsider their matches? I would not have been surprised if humans betrayed me somehow, but not my own kind. I can still see the picture of Mar that the sea gave me, standing there, holding the stone we found. It was inside an old shipwreck, in a golden case. It's about the size of an egg, and a dark green color. It looks so pretty when it catches the light. Mar gave it to me, but I gave it back to him for safekeeping right before I left. I asked him to hold onto it for me, but I didn't really tell him that I was leaving. It was selfish, I know. But I didn't know how to explain.
He flinches, clearly this wasn't expected. He closes his eyes and lets out a breath, before straightening and turning to you.
He shakes his head, his eyes have some pain in them. "Kiya and I are friends, Nula, just like aways. She's been having a rough time since she was matched to Tiro is all. They're not getting along. My promised mate has been away for a while." He pauses and looks down. "She misses you too, you know. We were just keeping each other company. That's all there is to it."
I wince at the "my promised mate has been away for a while" bit. Did coming here do any good at all? Or did it just hurt everyone?
I study his face silently. The pain in his eyes hurts me too, even though I don't entirely know if I understand it. This is a weird feeling...this jealousy. I've never been jealous of Mar being with anyone else. But Kiya...the three of us have been friends so long. What made Mar love me instead of her? Or did he? I've never even questioned it before. I know how I feel about Mar, but does he feel the same way? He wasn't uninterested in Kiya's advances. Would he ever...I furrow my brow in frustration. Why am I acting like a
, Mar." I say quietly, but there's more than a hint of intensity in my voice. "More than anyone. You're my best friend, my match. I want to be with
forever. You know that, don't you?"
I study his reaction carefully. I want him to say the same things back to me. I've always thought he felt the same way about me, but what do I do if he doesn't?
"Do I?" He asks quietly
He turns away and walks across the room towards your bed. He takes a seat on it, putting his elbows on his knees, his dark eyes glint at you.
"You love me more than anyone. I'm your best friend. You want to be with me... forever." He pauses. "Why are you here, then, if you mean that? You take off without saying where or for how long. Just goodbye and you'll be back. So... If you love me, why couldn't you tell me?"
He looks down.
"People said you weren't coming back, or if you did it was going to be after you tore yourself in half, like your grandmother. I thought maybe you'd decided that human you were hung up on. Jane? Maybe you went to be with him. I couldn't figure out why you wouldn't trust me otherwise."
I suck in a breath. His words hurt. I stay where I am, standing by the dresser, looking at him miserably. "I'm not...I'm not going to tear myself in half. This has nothing to do with James. That was so long ago, Mar. Years and years. I never even think about him anymore." Well, until I saw Jarrod anyways, but Jarrod isn't James. "I'm not here to be with
. Not like that. I just..."
I pause, frustrated.
"I just felt....like this was something I had to do. I didn't know how to make you understand. I was afraid you'd try to make me stay....because of my grandmother. And I just...when I saw Dominic, I had to do
. It's my grandmother's fault that he's like this. She hurt him and his father terribly when she left. His father
himself over it. The sea took so much from them, I wanted to give something back. I wanted to help. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I really am, Mar. I didn't
you. I didn't lie. I will come back, I promise."
My eyes are welling up. I was so happy to see him, but nothing has gone right since I got here. I don't belong here, but for some reason I keep fighting to stay.
He nods to the photograph of a smiling Dominic and you together. When was that taken?
"When are you going to be ready to break this human's heart? He could live another ten or twenty years, Nula. Why is his happiness more important to you than... than your own?" You hear the 'than mine' in the pause there. "How do you know when you've paid for what your grandmother did? Do you really think you can give him back what he lost or are you just going to take away what he has left?"
Mar stands again, looking tall and shadowy in the moonlit room. His tone doesn't sound recriminating so much as wounded.
"You were afraid you couldn't make me understand.
Nula. You didn't trust me with something really important to you because you were afraid? Afraid of what? So what if I tried to make you stay? I love you. You don't think I'd let you have something you really wanted? You didn't trust me enough to find out? That's kind of hard to build forever out of."
He looks out the window, away from you, towards the black ocean.
"Did you know Leta has a pup on the way? Your little sister was matched after us, and she's already starting a family."
"I...I don't know..."
The photo was taken earlier in the summer. In it, Dominic and I are standing on the beach. Amy took the photo of us, and I'm laughing at something she said. Dominic is smiling too, and that's why I asked Amy for a copy. Dominic looks so
Tears start rolling down my face. I don't know how I'm going to leave Dominic. I don't know how to make things right with Mar. I didn't know about Leta. My little sister.
I've never had a fight like this with Mar, and it's scaring me.
"Mar...I don't...I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I should have told you. I should have trusted you. I'm sorry! I don't...I don't know what to do. I'm so...everything is so tangled and I don't know what to do. What...what do you
me to do?" I walk towards him as I plead and wrap my arms around him, my wet face pressed into his bare chest. "Mar, please don't be angry with me. Please! I love you!"
He's quiet as he wraps his arms around you, one hand stroking your hair. You can feel his cheek on top of your head.
"I'm... I"m not angry. It just... It hurts. But I love you too, Nula, so much, and I... I want you to come home with me." He says softly.
I squeeze my eyes shut. I knew that's what he would say. Why did I ask that if I knew? Because I also knew my answer. I can't. I can't go home. Not yet. And not just because Nyx has my pelt.
I can't answer him right now.
I pull away, strip off the robe I put on earlier, and then press my naked body against his. My arms entwine around his neck and I kiss him. Not lingering, slow kisses like before. This is much more passionate, desperate too. Needy. My face is still wet with tears. I break away to look at him, my eyes half-lidded with desire.
"Mar..." I whisper, and his name on my lips is sensual and sad all at the same time.
Turning Mar On
#DiceRoller( 2d6 )
Well ever since you two began to have sex, he's not been able to resist you for very long. He's slightly resistant, but damn ne's missed you terribly, so after a moment he totally gives in, lifting you, turning and putting you on the bed, coming in after you. All this without once disconnecting from your mouth.
Do you take control? Does he? What is it usually like when you're together?
Mar and I together...it's hard to put it into words. When I'm with a human, most of the time I'm in control, even if I'm pretending not to be. Humans are generally more shy, less sure of themselves, they fumble, but those imperfect, human flaws are beautiful to me.
When I'm with Mar, it's different. We know each other's bodies. We know how to move together, how to touch each other, how to give each other the most pleasure possible. Having sex with Mar is like swimming in the sea. Beautiful, wild, comforting, passionate. I suppose I took control at the start, initiating it, but once we're on the bed, we move into a rhythm of give and take. It's not about control, it's about enjoying each other's bodies. And I do. I enjoy his body very much, running my fingers down his body, tasting the lingering salt on his skin, seeking out the quiet noises of pleasure he makes when I touch him and kiss him. I want to fill his mind with nothing but the feel, the taste, the sight of me.
Maybe that's a little bit like control.
Okay... so maybe it feels a tad different. But in most ways, it's like going home or swimming in the ocean again. Mar makes your body sing, like he's always been able to, and it really has been a while for you. You do the same for him. At the end, you lay on top of him as he dozes off, and since you're drained, you're not far behind.
What are you thinking as you drift off?
At first I'm thinking about Mar, just random memories floating through my mind. The sounds of the waves and our laughter and kissing in the sun and the ocean spray. Racing through the seawater, exploring caves undiscovered by humans. The feeling of his arms around me, his fingers brushing lightly across my skin. I needed this. I needed Mar. He's warm and solid, his arms wrapped around me, and I'm happy. I really am.
But as I start to drift off, those memories pull away like the tide, and I'm thinking about tonight, about everything that's happened since I've come to the surface. And the faces that are with me when I finally fall asleep, they're human.
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