[MH] What to do... [Nu S2:1.3]

edited July 2013 in In-Game

So you've been avoiding Dominic, right? I mean he asked about what happened, sort of, but was easily diverted. He's tired a lot right now and has to go back and forth to the Doctor. They've been talking about doing a big operation to try to fix his heart, and it's not trivial for someone his age. Do you take him to see the Doctor or has someone stepped in? He's probably asked you to do it a couple of times at least, hasn't he?

Did you guys ever talk about what he was going to need? He's pretty touchy about discussing his kids. He has a daughter and a son. But he's surly and avoident. Have you gotten anything at all out of him?

I'm assuming... well you did promise to tell him the whole story of your 'not being a selkie anymore.' What did you tell him? Did you tell him about the werewolf deal?

It's Wednesday. Did you even go to school? Did you go yesterday? Have you talked to James at all? Jarrod called you yesterday and told you that his Dad was sent home from the hospital with inconclusive tests as to why he can't remember anything. He doesn't show any signs of head trauma. Dierdre is taking care of him at home for the moment, and his assistant Chief (Becky) is taking control of the force while he is on 'medical leave.'

You were saying you wanted to go out to the ocean again. Just to walk in the surf and reflect? If so, that sounds like gazing into the abyss to me. But what time of day are we talking, here? And did you stay near town, go to the beach by Dominic's house or maybe go out to the rock beach where the party was?


  • Where to even begin?

    Dominic. I haven't been avoiding him really. I mean, I can't. I have to give him these pills twice a day and I've started cooking him dinner because he's too tired to do it himself. I'm not very good at it.

    I have been avoiding certain conversations though. That's usually easy enough. Dominic dozes a lot. When he's awake, I tell him more about the sea. It doesn't tear at my heart so badly now. Now that I felt the ocean again.

    So we haven't talked about what happened two days ago with James. And we're both avoiding the conversation about his surgery. I'm too afraid and Dominic is too crabby. We can't avoid it much longer though. I've been taking him to see the doctor. Usually Jarrod drives. I've driven four times now, and so far I've done ok. But I drive so slow and other cars honk at me and I hate it so much. Yesterday the doctor asked about "our plan" again. I think she suspects that we don't actually have one. She also asked about my "boyfriend." I see her looking at me, scanning for bruises, when she should be checking on Dominic. Yesterday I finally told her that I'm dating Jarrod Kent now, and that made her happy. She knows Jarrod and kept telling me that he's "such a nice kid." As if I don't know that. But I didn't mind. He is a nice kid.

    So we're supposed to be working on "our plan." But Dominic is napping in his chair, and I'm staring mournfully at the charred remains of what is supposed to be meatballs.

    I didn't go to school today. Or yesterday. Mrs. Glen called twice on the telephone. So I unplugged it. It wakes Dominic up anyways. Maybe I'll just leave it unplugged forever.

    No, I haven't told Dominic about being a werewolf. After he got home from the hospital, I was going to. But he was so tired and pale and thin, and I was so terrified by what I had become. So I lied. I told him that Jarrod and I had found a spell that turned me into a human. He seemed to believe me. He muttered something about a mermaid and fell asleep shortly afterwards. It hasn't come up again, but there's been times where he's suddenly gripped my hands and given me an almost soft look. So I think he's glad that I'm not leaving, and that helps. When he does that, I feel like I can do this. I can be strong enough to deal with Wolf. To deal with all of this.

    I dump the blackened meatballs into the trash and glance in at Dominic. He's snoring. He won't be waking up for a while. So I slip into my boots and coat and quietly slide out the door. The sun is setting, pink and purple across the cold, clear sky. My feet crunch through the snow on the way to the beach, and my breath puffs white clouds in the air.

    I wasn't surprised when Jarrod told me about James' tests. I knew they wouldn't find anything. I haven't seen Jarrod since that day, and it's been horrible. I miss him so much, and I was so worried that he hated me. So when he called yesterday, I could have cried with relief. I guess he's been spending a lot of time with his Dad and Mom. Thankfully he did clear out the art room while James was in the hospital like I asked. I don't know what he did with all the drawings and paintings, but he said they're gone. I know Jarrod doesn't agree that this might be a good thing, but I still think it might be. They're spending time together again! Without trying to kill each other! I know Jarrod has missed that. I can tell by how he talks about it.

    But I promised.

    So that's why I'm standing on the rocky beach right now. It's almost dark now. And it's very cold. But I set my jaw and step out into the water again anyways. The icy waves make me gasp, but I keep going until I'm up to my knees, frozen seawater pouring into my boots. My teeth are chattering, but I have to know. I have to know if I can feel the ocean again. And I promised I would try to find a cure for James. So I wrap my arms around myself, shivering violently, and try to focus on the waves, to find that connection again.
  • red
    edited July 2013
    Gazing into the Abyss
    #DiceRoller( 2d6+1 )
    highlighted for 1xp
  • I choose that the visions are lucid and detailed, but leave me Drained.
  • Are you mostly reflecting on James?
  • Yes I am.
  • At first, maybe, you're afraid that the first time was a fluke. Perhaps the echo of what you lost. Maybe you're on the verge of admitting defeat with your legs and feet freezing when you feel it. You hear it again! The song of the ocean. The feeling of a being so old that it feels immortal. It's there down far under wolf. But it's there. It hasn't left you.

    It's not as strong. It dosen't compel you home as it used to. That empty part in yourself that it used to fill when you returned... that is where wolf lives now. Still, the connection is there.

    It shows you James... the memories. They aren't gone. It tried to wash them away but... well his wolf wouldn't let it. But they are buried deep. It would have taken away just you, but the rest of it was unimportant anyway. Easier just to wash it all.

    But to get them back... to draw who he is back to himself? Tricky. There may be magic that could do it. Beings... powers, bargins you could make. Dark ones even.

    Of course,It will eventually come back on its own... but it could take another twenty years. The surest way is to draw on his wolf, on the weakened but lingering connection between you. Strengthen that, and it may pull those memories to the surface. If you managed to choose him... not just with your brain but with your heart and wolf's instinct... well you could reach in through that bond and pull it all back easily enough.

    The ocean shows you James on a couch in his house. Dierdre is next to him holding a hand. They're talking... laughing. You sense something new there, something warm. It fills his face even though his eyes are still haunted with the loss of half his life. Jarrod's hand touches James' shoulder and he hugs his dad. James looks uncomfortable, as if still getting used to it.

    Then the wind howls, the ocean retreats and you become conscious of the numb weights that used to be your legs.
  • red
    edited July 2013
    I'm frozen for reasons that have nothing to do with the icy water, but then another wave crashes into me and I'm suddenly painfully aware of how cold I am. How long have I been standing here?

    I stumble towards the shore, tripping over rocks with my frozen legs. I have to catch myself on my hands a couple times. My teeth are chattering uncontrollably. I don't know how to feel right now. I'm overjoyed that the ocean still lives within me, that I'm not all Wolf. But what the sea showed me....the answer I was seeking....

    What am I?

    Not a selkie, but not quite a wolf. I am two halves trying to make a whole. Is that why I am pulled back and forth like this? I try to choose between Jarrod and James. I try to make a decision. But it's like I'm caught in the tide, going back and forth and back and forth, and what do I want?

    I'm walking through the snow now, dripping and shivering and completely drained. The wind feels like it's sawing my legs in half. Dominic's house is suddenly so far away.

    Maybe Jarrod will have changed his mind. Maybe he's realized that James has a chance to be happy. I think back on the vision the ocean showed me. James and Dierdre. Wolf snarls.

    Stop it. I want him to be happy! I do!
  • "Did you hear it?"

    The voice comes from somewhere behind you. A familiar voice, if sounding a little raspy. Mar.

    When you turn he's standing half in shadow of the streetlights, the gleam just catching his eye.
  • I stop, a flood of conflicting emotions running through me. I wrap my arms around myself and look at him, breathing in his familiar scent. My throat feels tight.

    "Yes." I finally say through chattering teeth. "I can still hear it."

    I know he of all people will understand what that means to me.

    "Mar..." My voice breaks, and I hug myself tighter. There's a million things I want to say to him. "Why are you still here? Why are you doing this to yourself?" I know the agony he must be going through, being apart from the sea. I just don't understand why.
  • He steps forward into the light, approaches you slowly.

    "How can I not be here? You are my match, my best friend, and I love you. I told you we would leave together, Nula. You haven't left yet, so neither have I." He pauses. "The sea is still in you. That is good."

    He stops only two feet away and holds his arms open in invitation.
  • I go to him, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist and pressing my face into his shoulder. I'm so cold and lonely and miserable and I've missed Mar. I really have. He's my match, my best friend, and I love him too. Despite everything.

    "Mar, you know I can't go back." I whisper brokenly through chattering teeth. "I can't ever go back. I'm not...I can hear the ocean, but I'm not a selkie anymore. I'm not even quite a wolf. I don't know what I am."
  • He's warm.... so warm. But then, Mar always was, wasn't he. Just the familiarity of you being together and smelling that familiar scent with Wolf's nose. It's different, slightly. You can't put your finger on how. Or maybe it's always been there and you just couldn't smell it before.

    He kisses your hair, holding you firm against him. "If I told you there was a way to be a Selkie again... to go home with me. Would you?"
  • "Mar..." I breathe out, frustrated. The scent of him and the ocean is tempting. I do want to go home. I want to swim through the waves so so badly. But that life...forever of the sea, forever with Mar....is that what I want anymore? I think about Jarrod. I think about James. I think about Dominic.

    Why does Mar smell different?

    "I can't leave Dominic, Mar." I mumble against his shirt. It's so weird to see Mar clothed. Is that what I smell? The clothes? "I just want..." I trail off. What do I want?

    I turn my head so I can look up at him. "What do you mean? What way?"
  • He sighs too.

    "If you insist on staying... but Nula... would he want you to be so miserable? Even for him? Wouldn't it hurt him to know you're suffering? I've been watching you, you know. You and your...friends. You...don't seem happy." He shakes his head slightly, fixing you with his beautiful eyes. "But nevermind that. We can stay with your human if you desire, we have time. But don't you want to be a one of the People again, feel the ocean in your blood, fully? There is magic... magic to expel the wolf spirit from you and restore you to what you're supposed to be... a jewel of the sea."

    He touches your face gently with his fingertips as he says that. After a moment:

    "I just want you to be happy."

    I can't remember if I asked this before, Nula, but which of Mar's features is your favorite? Is it eyes, like with Jarrod and James?
  • red
    edited July 2013
    I love Mar's eyes. They're the color of the ocean, both green and blue and sometimes grey. But Mar has the most beautiful smile. And when he smiles wide, he gets a dimple in his cheek. I can't help but smile when Mar does. And now that I'm thinking about it, I don't think I've seen him really smile in a long time now.

    "Of c-c-course I want to feel the ocean in my b-blood again." I say through chattering teeth, looking up at him. "But even if I did, there w-w-would still be a p-part of me that would belong to the land. Mar, I c-can't go back. Not b-b-because I'm not one of the People anymore. It's because I w-would die. Like my grandmother died." I'm shaking now, I'm shivering so much. I press a little closer to him. I can't feel my feet. My jeans are frozen stiff. I need to ask him a million more questions, but I can hardly think straight.

    "Will you c-c-come back to Dominic's house with me? P-please, Mar? I'm so c-c-cold."
  • "Will you? Maybe. But you might die here too, you know."

    He shifts, takes off his coat and puts it around your shoulders. He was wearing it open anyway. Selkies don't notice temperature that much, right?

    "Yes, okay. Let's get you warm."

    He walks you home. The coat helps a little I suppose.

    What do you do when you get to the door?
  • I pull his coat tightly around me, shivering. I don't say anything. I don't know. I just don't know anymore. I'm so tired of trying to figure it all out.

    When we get to the door, I look at him. "Come in with me. Dominic is probably sleeping." I reach forward and take his hand with my icy cold one. I look up at him with exhausted, miserable eyes, pleading. "I've missed you."

    I haven't seen anyone in days. I know it's my fault. I know Jarrod is preoccupied with James. And James doesn't even remember me. And I skipped school....

    But I've just been so lonely. And Mar understands. He understands a part of me that no one else does. It's not, it's not like that. I just. He's my best friend, ok?
  • He looks into your eyes, then up at the door, then back to you. He gives you a close lipped half'-smile and nods.

    You'll have to tiptoe by Dominic I guess, but he sleeps pretty hard. Are you going up to your room?
  • Yes, I take Mar up to my room, tiptoeing past Dominic who is still snoring in the livingroom. This feels familiar.

    Inside my room, I shut the door behind us and immediately start stripping out of my freezing, wet clothes. I don't even think twice about being naked in front of Mar. He's seen me naked more times than I can count. And right now I want to get these clothes off. My fingers are so numb, I struggle with the buttons on my jeans. I wonder if I should get in the shower. I know Wolf is protecting me from most of the cold and maybe the ocean is too, but still. I'm so cold. I can feel it in my bones.

    "Where have you b-been? I mean, staying? Where are you s-s-staying?" I whisper to Mar, glancing up at him, as I fumble with my jeans.
  • He steps into you, all warm, and brushes your hands aside then undoes your pants and pushes them down your legs.

    "You're freezing" He grumbles, because, you know, you wouldn't be if you were still a Selkie. Well maybe you would be in your human form. I'm not sure. Anyway his sure movements strip you the rest of the way down.

    "I'm care-taking for some... how do you say it...'vacation cottages.' I live in one of them as part of the deal." He shakes his head. "Humans and their fancy caves. Let's get you in the shower."
  • I let him help me, and it's not, I mean I'm not. He's just helping me. That's what I'm trying to say.

    I grab my fuzzy robe off the back of my door and slide into it. "Oh." Is all I can say in response to Mar care-taking human cottages. I'm trying to picture it, but I can't really. Mar doesn't even like humans. The idea of him taking care of their things is just...strange. "Ok." I continue, heading for my door. A shower sounds wonderful.

    "How did you find out about the magic?" I whisper curiously as we creep down the hallway towards the bathroom.

    No, I don't think it's weird that he's coming with me. Why would it be?
  • "The sea. It pointed me the right direction." He whispers back.

    You get to the bathroom and Mar begins to strip. Shrugging off the coat, unbuttoning a plaid shirt that was already partway open. "The point is, I know what to do to bring you back." He says as he drops it to the floor. "Will you do it? Will you be a Selkie again."
  • I turn on the water, running my fingers under the tap until the water's hot and watching Mar out of the corner of my eye.

    "How? How would you bring me back?" I ask quietly, looking up at his face.
  • He's naked in only a moment. I mean... he doesn't seem to have figured out underwear.

    He looks in your eyes, then to the side. Reaches out to barely touch your shoulder, a small circular caress.

    "A ritual. A special artifact. A mixing of blood and seawater. Your pelt. The.... the one that gave you the wolf."
  • I jerk backwards and almost fall off the side of the tub. Wolf is growling so furiously that I bring a hand up to my chest, like I can keep her there, keep her from bursting furiously to life with my bare hand.

    "What?" I gasp, my eyes flashing fierce and amber. "What do you mean the one? Do you mean James would have to die? Because I won't, Mar! I will never do that! I won't hurt, James!"
  • Mar jumped a little, drew back slightly. But he stays calm, voice steady.

    "I didn't say he had to die. But he needs to be there to receive what he gave you. It needs somewhere to go."

    Wolf doesn't like this, does she?
  • "What?" I furrow my brow, wrapping my arms around myself.

    I'm relieved to hear that answer, but Wolf is still snarling.

    "Receive it? So he would have two wolves?" I stare at him in disbelief. I can hardly handle life with one. Two would be....it would be horrible. How would he ever be able to be human?

    I shake my head. "I don't know. I don't know, Mar." I look at him pleadingly, but my eyes still flicker amber. I blow out a frustrated breath, and then I climb in the shower, letting the hot, hot water painfully pour over my head.
  • Mar follows you in. Then leans against the tub wall, watching hot water sluice down you. When your head emerges again, the hot water beating on your back....oh.. nice to be warm again, isn't it? Anyway, when your head comes out, he closes the distance some and says

    "It won't increase his suffering. He will take back what he gave you. Please, Nula."
  • It is so nice to be warm again.

    I open my eyes and look at him, and the amber glow has faded. Although I can feel Wolf stirring restlessly. Or is it nervously? "Mar. I don't...what happens then? I can't leave the land forever. It would break my heart. I...I love people here. I don't want to leave them."

    I love Mar, but do I want to be with him forever? Do I love him more than Jarrod? More than James? And I won't leave Dominic. Not now. He needs me. I've never really been needed before. If I go back to being a Selkie, I'll leave. Even if I don't want to, I will eventually. I won't be able to resist the plea of the ocean forever. And then I'll never be able to come back. And it would kill me. Here, like this, with Wolf...I mean, I'm not...I don't really like it. But now that I know the ocean hasn't totally left me....maybe. Maybe it's not so bad?

    If I was a Selkie again, I would be able to see my family. I would be able to swim. To be one with the sea.

    I study him desperately, like I'll find the answers in his ocean eyes. Mar hurt Teddy. And he said terrible things to Dominic. Do I really even know him anymore?
  • edited July 2013
    He comes in closer, hands coming out to rest on your hips, big and warm, even in the hot water. His eyes boring into yours.

    "I know.... I know you don't want to. But do you really belong here? Do you really mean to make yourself suffer so much? I've been watching you. You aren't happy like this, Nula. You deserve some happiness."
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